Separation Anxiety ②

One of my close relatives by marriage, lived with Separation Anxiety all her life. She was afraid to live alone. But mostly, she was afraid to DIE ALONE.

When her husband died suddenly she became so bitter and angry at her husband. You see, they were supposed to 'go together.' Don't we all wish that?

She not only became bitter and angry at her late husband, she became so mean to all the people around her. It became quite hellish to be around her.

A couple of years before she passed away, I watched this movie. It was based on a novel. I don't remember how I found this movie. I don't even remember the title. But it was a timely movie which gave me an insight to what this woman was going through.

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The Movie Synopsis

There was a family with three young girls. They lived a happy life until their father died. The mother tried to raise the young children by herself but it was too much of a burden.

One day, the mother committed suicide. She couldn't take the pressure any longer. This left the children to live with their grandfather. The mother's suicide became the talk of town. But what became more scandalous was a question why she killed the family cat along side her.

Throughout the following years, all the girls went through difficult situations in their lives. Years later, all three girls returned to the house they were raised by their grandfather, when he passed away.

While the two older sisters were out, the youngest one tried to kill herself by hanging herself from the chandelier upstairs. It was not strong enough to hang her. So, she goes downstairs to the kitchen with the rope still around her neck. She turns on the gas stove oven. Opens the oven door and sticks her head in the oven.

Just then, the eldest sister comes home and walks into the kitchen. Immediately, she pulls the youngest sister out of the oven.

The first thing the youngest sister said was, "I understand it now."

Still frantic, the eldest sister says, "What do you mean? What do you understand now?"

The youngest answers saying, "I understand now why Mother killed the cat."

"What?!"

(I can almost hear the eldest say, what relevance does it have with you trying to kill yourself?)

"I understand why Mother killed the cat. She was afraid to die alone."

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Did you catch that? I know it's a fiction. But can you see the truth in this last statement?
As in my relative's case, this mother was afraid to die alone.
We know we all die alone, even in the same car or airplane accident or shooting incidents.

But some people are absolutely terrified of dying alone. Maybe, it's their religious belief system or background, but somehow this fear of separation from every thing and ultimately from Life itself, creates unbelievable fear.

So, as if to make this fear less fearful, people take others to 'go along' with them.

It's a total speculation here but I think that's at least one of the reasons these meaningless killings happen. The killer knew he was living in hell. He knew he would die alone. But afraid to do so. Hence, killing others to go with him. He won't be alone then.

This is why I said in　Separation Anxiety ①  , that Gun control policy is not the answer to these types of incidents. I stick my neck out to say even wars in the world can not be stopped by politics.

So long as individuals, families, and nations have the fundamental Separation Anxiety from All That Is, Something Great, the Implicate Order, we could never stop the killings and wars.

Let's become aware of All That Is, and Be The Peace that is born out of it.


                           "Be the change you want to see in the World" Mohamed Gandhi