Phantom Fear

You've heard of phantom limbs, haven't you? After an illness, injury or accidents, a limb is amputated. But the patient still feels the existence of that limb. What a terrible thing! To be 'bothered' by the sensation of the limbs that caused problems even after they are gone!

There is one thing worse than that, in my estimation.

Phantom Fear!

In my coaching sessions, I see some people who are so worried about everything. Some fears are so strong that it almost immobilize their life. But I have a good news for you.

Fear is phantom. Something unfounded. Fear is....

F = False
E = Evidence
A = Appearing
R = Real


Sometime ago, I came across a local art therapist who worked with children with cancer.

He had a group of children with cancer and he asked them to draw. They were to draw themselves along side what they imagined their cancer looked like to be.

Some drew themselves bigger and stronger than the cancer, shooting arrows at Cancer. They also had lots of friends helping them shoot arrows at the image of cancer.

Some drew themselves very small beside a gigantic cancer monster towering over them, spewing fire out of its mouth, and coming after them.

The first group of children felt they could lick their cancer while the second group was obviously afraid of cancer and didn't think they could beat it.

Guess which group had a greater number of survivors?

You guess it. The first group!

The first group of children felt confident that they can overcome their disease.
The second group of children didn't. They were absolutely afraid of their cancer monster.

Certainly, the both groups had reasons to be afraid. But the first group didn't get that fear, the ultimate defeat, affect them. They went on with their therapies with many friends encouraging them on. While the second group of children succumb to their fear. Although what they feared was not a reality at the beginning, they actually lived out what they saw in their own fear.

I'm not saying fear alone killed the second group of children. There must have been differences in the severity of their cancer between the two groups. Nevertheless, I can't ignore the possibility of what FEAR might have played in their demise.

I have a question to ask. Why should FEAR, something that hasn't  happen yet, influence our health and life?

We want to be careful, what we say, especially to the sick children. These children need to know that they don't have to fight the battle alone. They need to know that they are supported by something much bigger than cancer, the love of people around them.

Kind, loving, encouraging words we speak to them may be the only thing separating those who survive and those who do not.....